Things No One Tells You When You’re Pregnant

(Or things they tell you but you don’t really believe)

Your feet will look like tree trunks – AFTER you deliver.

The day you bring your beautiful baby home, you’ll still look very pregnant.

Newborns cry.

Once the high of delivery wears off, you’ll feel frighteningly incapable as a human being, much less a parent.

10-minute showers will become a luxury.

Don’t bother reading those baby books. All of that info will be forgotten at some point between week 38 and delivery and you’ll have to start from scratch.

Get your hair and pedicure done a couple of weeks before your due date. It will be months until you see the inside of a salon again.

Do NOT pack your baby’s entire 0-3m wardrobe in your hospital bag.

You will secretly enjoy the comfort of mesh underwear.

Be prepared to live your life in repetitive two-hour increments for the first few months. Have you seen the movie Groundhog Day?

Target will become your second home.

You will break down in tears multiple times during your first week. And second. And third.

Breastfeeding may not be as easy and straightforward as you envisioned.

Your knees will hurt for months.

Surprisingly, carrying a baby everywhere doesn’t get you the toned arms you thought it would.

“Sleep when baby sleeps,” is advice all moms give each other, yet never follow.

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